U.F.B.

(The Pub Song)

I met you at the local pub

But how was I to know that you were a scrub?

You asked me if I wanted to dance

But all you wanted was to get in my pants

You leaned over and gave me a kiss

I felt a twinge down where I piss

You asked me outside to your car

And then I know that I’d get real far

You sucked my dick, you licked my nuts

I blew my wad, yeah, all over your butt

Three days later I started to itch

I can’t believe that fucking bitch!

I had to go see a dick M.D.

I said it hurts, yeah, it hurts when I pee

The nurses laughed, the doctor hollered

You know that shit cost me ninety-five dollars

I hate you, you fucking bitch

I hate you, you fucking bitch

Yeah you, you gave me the itch

I hate you, you fucking bitch

You bitch!